It is quite simple to be able to provide for the basic necessities of a child such as food, clothing, shelter and others. However when it comes to providing the nurturing element in a child’s life a little more thought and energy needs to be exercised. There are some general guide lines that can and should be followed to ensure the emotional health development of a child.
Chapter 1: The Basics On Nurturing Your Child
Being aware of the capabilities of each stage in a child’s growing life is important. This is to ensure that no unnecessary expectations or demands are made on the child.
Allowing and encouraging a child to express his or her feeling freely is one way of teaching a child how to cope with difficulties. The teachings and guidance extended should be done in a positive manner to ensure the element of violence is not part of the expression process.
Making an effort to respect the child and the expressed feelings of the child is paramount in building a strong relationship where the child feels confident in broaching any problem or situation.
Establishing an open communication style is beneficial to both parties. This style allows the child to be confident in the listening capacity of the parent without being judgmental or unduly harsh.
Encouraging the child to be open and adventurous will help the child to build their own individual confidence and personal disciple levels. They will then be able to have the independence and self worth that comes from being able to cope when exposed to different things.
Above all a child must be confident in a parent’s love and acceptance. With all the other negative elements in the world today, being able to count on a parent’s unconditional love is very important. If this element is present in the relationship most children can cope better in life.
Chapter 2: Build Your Childs Self Esteem
Building self esteem in a child will be the creating factor in the makings of a health adult both in mind and body. The foundation of having confidence and the rounded well being factor will definitely carry through to adulthood and the successes expected.
Encouraging a child to positively develop their own individual self image is very important. Though it starts as a small and insignificantly thought of process, the building of self image is actually very impactful in the way a child views themselves. These views will undoubtedly be transferred into adulthood, so the implications are far and wide.
Teaching a child to have a strong positive self image will also help to keep the child from having future behavioral problems. These problems normally stem from the feelings of looking for acceptance which if not found within the family unit, will then be sought outside.
During the young stages of a child’s life, being available for the child as much as possible is also another way to build self esteem. However being around does not necessarily means pandering to the every whim and fancy of the child. It is more to build a level of bonding within the family unit so that the desired closeness will be instrumental in growing the love and confidence element in the child.
Interacting and being genuinely interested in the child activities and accomplishment is also highly recommended. Sometime it may require a certain percentage of feigning interest but its well worth exercising the effort to encourage the feeling of self worth in a child.
Explaining gently or correcting a child gently keeps the child from becoming overly fearful yet still being able to understand the reason for the correction and also being able to acknowledge the mistake. This in turn helps the child to always be able to move on and improve themselves even after a mistake has happened.
Chapter 3: Catch The Good And Not Always The Bad
Human nature is such that most people only acknowledge the negative in anything. Being able to focus on the good can be a challenge but it is not impossible. Training the mind from an early age would be a benefit to all around.
Children are by far a very innocent and impressionable bunch, therefore whatever actions and words spoken must be done with the utmost care and concern. Those who are in the position to impart the necessary confidence in a child should take every possible opportunity to do so.
In every instance from games to doing simple stuff the focus and comments made should be of a complimenting and encouraging nature. Things that may seem silly or trivial to an adult would be very important to a child so being careful and prudent in all comments is important. This does help the child to foster further positive mind set and be willing to try new things without having to be concerned about being condemned or criticized.
When the adult is able to focus on the positive of everything, the child will also learn to do so. This will come in handy when the child is exposed to the “real world.”
Praising a child as often as possible also helps the child to be able to understand how to acknowledge the good in others too. Children definitely respond better to positive words and actions. It is much easier to get the cooperation and participation of a child when the general persuasive comments and compliments are of a positive nature.
A child who is used to being positively encouraged will also be able to give positive encouragement to others. These types of children would have no problem making friends and being popular. Their ability to share and be caring is also a byproduct the positive elements they have been exposed to.
Chapter 4: Demonstrate The Love Is Unconditional
Love is a precious gift and should be given as often as possible. Children need to understand from a very early age that the love is given and received unconditionally.
Though the idea of giving and receiving love unconditionally should be as it is termed, it however does not imply that a child can do or say anything without a certain amount of boundaries in place. When a child is being difficult or naughty, the parent is duty bound to correct the child but at the same time ensuring that the unconditional love element is kept totally in tack. This is an important point to ensure the child understands.
Love between the primary care givers is also important, as the child will be privy to how the adults around react to each other. Therefore is has to be understood that the unconditional love is not just within a certain circle but can be altered to include anyone at any given time.
As a child ages the wrong understanding of love may bring about a certain degree of insecurity. In the adult world, love is rarely unconditional and often shown in words and actions to this effect, therefore if the child begins to realize this, then everything in his or her life will be associated to this style of thinking.
A very important area a child needs to experience unconditional love is connected to the physical and mental achievements of the child. Most children find this the most hurtful and challenging area where almost all attest to the lack of unconditional love.
When a child feels the negative and disapproval vibes expressed because of low achievement even though there was genuine effort to do the very best, they could withdraw and consecutively under achieve in future endeavors. Therefore it is of utmost importance to reprimand but at the same time focus the reprimand on the action and not the child itself.
Chapter 5: Make Rules And Be Consistent
In parenting it sometimes becomes very hard to be consistent in anything. This is especially so if the child is their absolute pride and joy. Few people like to be in the position to meet out punishment or to reprimand, and it becomes more difficult if it involves their beloved child.
However for the better and rounded development of the child it is absolutely necessary to met out a certain level of discipline and order. The key to this is to stay consistent and firm. Some of the good traits a child will learn from being exposed to the expected levels of consistency when it comes to discipline are the ability to become a reliable, dependable, and constant individual.
Being able to make the rules and then to ensure they are consistently followed is to build the reliability element in a child which will carry through to adulthood. In the effort to stay consistent the child will learn that reliability can be learnt and built upon.
Another character trait that can be the byproduct of consistency is being dependable. This then translates to the child being able to cope with a steady amount of responsibility. Most people enjoy some sort of guideline to live by and thus starting a child at a young age to follow all rules and be consistent is beneficial.
Most people like to have a certain amount of rules in place to be able to function effectively and children are no different. Rules help everyone to work within a certain perimeter both physically as well as mentally. With the rules in place it is then easier to be consistent should in the reprimand action taken should there be a need for it. Both these element put together also helps to contribute to a better development of the child.
Chapter 6: Make Special Time For Your Child
Today’s parents understand the need to spend more time with their children right from a very young age. If this time is spent well it can contribute to the betterment of the relationship between parent and child.
Because of this realization, a lot of parent will ensure they spend quality time with their children as often as possible. It is not always possible but very necessary to spend quality time because this will ensure the children and parents are given the opportunity to build a strong bond.
The following are some possible recommendations to follow:
- Alone time, practicing the one on one structure with a child is advisable as it promotes the chance to enjoy each other’s company exclusively. This one on one time also gives the child the opportunity to open up and share personal issues with the parent. Simply watching a movie together or sitting in the part together or going for a walk together are some of the more popular one on one styles to adopt.
- Getting a child to help and feel important and useful is also another way to spend special time with a child. When a child feels important and needed the bond of love and respect is cemented for life. Though a lot of patience is needed on the part of the adult, it is well worth the trouble. Making a child feel a huge part of the parent life by doing physical things together is definitely a plus point.
- There will be times when it becomes almost impossible to a lot time for focusing on the children. When this happens, a parent can devise innovative ways to remind the child of how special he or she is. Among the more popular ways of doing this are a simple text message, a note in the child’s lunch box, and a “date” time with the parent or just a tiny gift for no particular reason.
Chapter 7: Always Set An Example
The famous saying; monkey see monkey do is not only a popular thought but a very relevant one too. Children are a very impressionable lot, thus in wanting them to do the right thing or make the right choice an example needs to be set.
Teaching by example is a very effective way of getting a child to follow willingly and happily. Being a good role model is absolutely necessary when it comes to imparting good behavioral skills and attitudes. Children generally learn to behave a certain way upon observing those within their circle of daily life. If the examples set are negative them the child will learn these negative traits and emulate them. Therefore practicing good habits and traits are paramount in the quest to impart the best attributes in a child.
Developing acceptable social skill is another element children pick up from what they observe in their parents. The primary and ever important “please and thank you” terms should be ever present in a parent’s vocabulary if there is desire to have well mannered children.
Respecting others is another important skill a child will emulate only by observing the example of the parent. In this process the child also learns to value and respect other people’s opinions and actions. Consistency and learning to do things without depending on others is another trait that is passed from parent to child. Teaching a child to handle one project at a time and see it to completion will only be reinforced if the parent uses the same style. A child learns to be loving and generous upon watching the examples of the parents or main care givers in their daily life. This love element directly impacts the behavioral aspects of the child. It also helps the child to understand and appreciate the love given to him or her.
Chapter 8: Don’t Dominate A Conversation
Children love to talk. Most times parents are more that delighted to listen to the happy chatter. However there are also times when a parent does not realize that he or she dominates the conversation and thus the child does not get a chance to put forth their views and opinions. This of course is not a good behavioral trait and should be checked.
Children need to be taught at an early age to be a part of a conversation or activity and not to dominate it. This domineering trait is both undesirable and unhealthy. Parents are in the ideal position to teach the child this by being a good listener. By observing the patience and respect the parent has for the others, the child restraint too.
By not teaching a child the follies of dominating a conversation, the child will never learn the art of listening. Teaching a child to listen rather than dominate a conversation will allow the child to learn to disseminate information effectively and wisely. When one dominates a conversation the only information going around would be from that of the dominating party, thus no new information in learnt or exchanged. This is not the way a child can learn new things thus it is again vital to teach a child to always listen first rather than exercise the need to dominate the conversation. The same concept is applied to the parent. By dominating the conversation, the parent will not be able to learn anything new that was going on in the child’s world.
Children need to exercise their conversational skill and the first area this should be done is within the confines of the family unit. With the guidance of the parents a child then learns the limits and perimeters allowed to explore.
Chapter 9: Learn To Be A Good Communicator
In order to be an effective adult a child needs to practice being a good and effective communicator. This is also another skill the child will more than likely emulate from the parent.
Here are some of the areas one can teach the child in the pursuit of being a good communicator:
- Teaching the child to know what and how to communicate is the first step towards being an effective communicator. Being able to contribute to a conversation while being sensitive to the other participants is also an important lesson to learn.
- The attitudes and openness taught to a child with regards to being a good communicator is also very important. Attitudes like respecting other opinions and attitudes in a particular subject will not only teach the child respect but also the how to appreciate other opinions.
- Teaching a child the importance of eye contact is also another way to help the child stay focused. This eye contact trait is a good way to ensure the listener and speaker are both paying attention to what is said.
- The tone a child learns to use will eventually transcend into the same tone that is used in adulthood. Teaching the child to be sensitive to other in terms of the volume used in a conversation is important as many people can be put off by very loud or very soft tones. Furthermore is can be quite an exasperating experience.
Children love the opportunity to speak openly and with abandon. However there must be some sort of control over the tone, demeanor, and respect exercised. When children are comfortable they will then be able to exercise good communication skills. Thus by keeping the lines of communication open always a child feels safe and is then able to be a proficient communicator.
Chapter 10: An Unnourished Child has A Long Road Ahead
Most parents strive hard to provide the best for their children, sometimes though it is not an easy task. However, almost all parents would willingly sacrifice for their children.
From a mental point of view an unnourished child will lack the basic interaction between parent and child, thus causing the child to be ill equipped to face the interaction with the others.
Children who are mentally unnourished will also be unable to fend for themselves in an environment other than the one they are used to. Being able to hold a conversation and attention of those around would be rather difficult.
Being spiritually deprived or unnourished has equally if not more devastating effects. In the current world of very advanced technology most children have lost the ability to feel and be in touch with others and with themselves.
There is no quiet time spent in prayer or simply just sitting back and enjoying nature. Children are constantly being pushed to be better and thus in their quest to achieve this they have lost sight of the more important things in life.
Being spiritually, mentally and physically unnourished could have far reaching effects in the child life which will be carried through to adulthood.
In terms of physical health an unnourished child will have many problems. Most noticeable would be the conditions of the skin which would most often be dry and full of uneven and scaring textures. The eyes, teeth, and hair would be dull and lack vibrancy. The breath of a young child should not be too strong and if it is this would indicate the lack of water and nutritional food. The energy levels of the child would also be below average when compared to others children of the same age group.